Insecurities

I am a person full of insecurities. But I don't just let it stay that way. I hate that feeling, and so I work hard to overcome it.

I always wanted to be compared to good people. Well, good in a sense that they are really competent and worth admiring because of their skills and capabilities, especially when it comes to the academic realm, where my current world is.

Does this explain my nature? Most probably.

So for a time I've thought that I actually know how to deal with this matter.

But being insecure with someone important to you - someone that you love - is actually different. Yes it is quite odd, but it really does happen.

It is difficult to feel happy and proud for that person and sad and disappointed for yourself, all at the same time.

Now, I want both to outperform him and stop this stupid feeling of insecurity. But I don't know which of the two will make me truly happy in the end. Another trade-off, I guess.

Indeed, this making me nuts.